Learning how to journal about your feelings, may seem like a challenge, but it doesn’t need to be. Below, I share three simple steps you can follow to make the process of journalling about your feelings as easy and simple as possible.
In my opinion, learning how to journal about your feelings is an essential part of a healthy and happy lifestyle.
A skill I believe we should all have learnt in school.
Many people who have learnt how to journal about their feelings have found it very beneficial for their mental and emotional health. Reporting improved moods, a better ability to regulate how they feel and even a reduction in their anxiety.
So, what are feelings?
Most importantly, you need to know that you are not your feelings. And that any feelings you have are not a reflection of who you are as a person.
Feelings are something we experience. Sensations in our body that come and go, and that either feel comfortable or uncomfortable. And can be mild, intense or anywhere in between.
They let us know what we need, want, like or dislike—so we can make a change. And, contrary to popular belief, or how you might feel in the moment, there are no good or bad feelings.
All feelings—happiness, sadness, joy, jealousy, hurt, delight—are natural and healthy.
But saying this, I know it can be hard to accept how we feel. That we even judge ourselves for how we feel. And that we try to push our feelings away or ignore them altogether.
This causes problems and can lead to unhealthy numbing behaviours. Like binge-eating, isolating ourselves, over-spending, watching TV or scrolling online for hours, and even overworking.
More positively for our emotional health, we can and should train ourselves to notice our feelings when they arise—and process them rather than push them away.
Journaling about your feelings is a great way to train yourself to notice them.
I personally find the idea of “seeing, accepting and understanding” your feelings one of the easiest methods to follow. So, I’ve shared it below. I hope it helps you as much as it has me.
How to Journal About Your Feelings
Step 1 – SEE Your Feelings
Become aware of how you feel, and name it. Ask yourself, “What am I feeling right now?”. And write it down. For example, “I feel nervous.”
We’re so used to pushing our feelings away. Or, moving straight into problem-solving mode, that we can easily never see what we truly feel about a situation. This is why, it’s a great idea to pause each day, to check in with yourself and notice how you’re feeling.
And believe it or not, but simply naming how you feel, can make you feel surprisingly better in that moment. Why? Our feelings are a lot like us—that is, they want to be seen, accepted, and understood!
It’s also good to realise that you might have multiple feelings at the same time. For example, you might feel scared yet excited. Or, sad yet optimistic. There’s no right or wrong way to label how you feel, write what feels right to you in the moment.
And, if you’re struggling to put your feelings into words, as most of us do, this Feelings Wheel from calm.com will help you. I keep a copy in my notebook and use it most days.
Step 2 – ACCEPT Your Feelings
Choose to accept that you are having the feelings you are right now. For example, you might write, “Yes, I feel nervous right now. I accept that I do and that it’s normal. I can feel it in my stomach and hands.”
In other words, try not to judge yourself for having the feelings you do. Judging yourself might sound like this, for example: “I shouldn’t feel nervous. I’ve done this before. No one else would feel nervous.”
Your feelings are real. They’re in your body. It doesn’t make sense to say you shouldn’t have them. You might not want them. But telling them they shouldn’t be there, that’s like telling yourself you’re not the height you are!
Step 3 – UNDERSTAND Your Feelings
Take time to understand your feelings. What are they trying to tell you? For example, you might write, “I understand I’ve done this activity before, but I haven’t done it in the same situation with the exact people. It’s no wonder I’m nervous. I have practised as much as I can though. So I suppose all I can do now is my best. I need to take a few deep breaths to help calm my nerves and let myself know everything is okay.”
In other words, write down exactly what you’re thinking. Don’t filter, judge or react. Say whatever you want and need to get off your chest. Be truthful and honest with yourself.
Here’s another example journal entry covering each of the three steps:
“I can feel myself being jealous of that girl over there. When I think about it though, it’s understandable—she’s doing what I want to do. I’m sure this feeling is telling me to go after what I want…”
Focus On Positive Feelings Too
It can be so easy to only focus on negative emotions. But I’d encourage you to journal about your positive feelings as well. Because when you see, accept and understand positive feelings too, it becomes easier for you to access and appreciate similar feelings in the future.
It helps you feel and appreciate the joyful sensations of your positive emotions. And this, I mean fully feeling your positive emotions, is just as important as feeling your negative ones.
Without both sides of the coin, it becomes difficult to appreciate either.
Now You Know How To Journal About Your Feelings Give It A Go
I know how easy it is to think you’ll try or do this journaling one day. But how often does that elusive “one day” ever come?
So, why not give journaling about your feelings a go right now? Set an alarm for 5 minutes, ask yourself the three questions below and jot down whatever comes to mind. You’ll feel surprisingly good afterwards. Maybe even a little lighter 🙂
Q1. What am I feeling right now?
Q2. Do I accept that I’m feeling it?
Q3. What is the feeling trying to tell me?
Excited to learn more about journaling? You might want to read this post next.
If you want more tips like this to improve your health and wellbeing, be sure to grab your free health guide below.
(Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash)
