Can I ask you something?
How has getting at yourself, being hard on yourself and criticising yourself helped you so far?
Has it made you feel good, happy, healthy, confident, strong, successful, beautiful?
Helped you become the person you want to be?
Made your life better?
Thought not.
That’s why today, I’m encouraging you to try something different — just for a week or two — to see what happens.
You might be surprised at the result.
So, keep reading if you want to learn how to feel happier almost immediately. Plus:
- The #1 thing you need to do consistently to feel happier.
- 7 ways to feel better about yourself in 60 minutes or less.
- Discover the most important relationship in your life.
- Why you should take a leaf out of your own book!
Everyone deserves to feel happy and healthy. And, I’ve learnt through experience — and frustration — that feeling good consistently only happens when you’re kinder to yourself.
When you begin to accept who you are and what you do without as much self-criticism and judgment, it’s easier to become the best version of YOU.
If you want to feel good, happy, healthy, confident, strong, successful, beautiful — learn to be kinder to yourself.
You know it’s funny really… As kind, caring and compassionate women, you think we’d be that way with ourselves. Not so much, right?
Even though we know kindness goes a long way, we’re not the best at directing it to ourselves.
Think about it. When someone’s kind to you or you’re kind to someone else, how do you feel? Happier? Lighter? AMAZING..?
Isn’t kindness powerful?
Now, on the flip side, think about what you say to yourself:
- “I hate how you look.”
- “You’re so ugly.”
- “You’re not good enough.”
- “They don’t like you.”
- “You’ll never be able to do that.”
- “You’re lazy.”
- “Why are you so slow at everything?”
- “You need to get more done.”
- “You never do what you say you will.”
- “You need to get a grip.”
Would you ever say these to a friend? I know you wouldn’t.
How would you feel if someone said them to you? Hurt? Upset? Low?
Guess what happens when you say those things to yourself? You feel hurt, upset and low too.
Negative thoughts on repeat, cause negative feelings.
On the other hand, positive thoughts, create positive feelings which help you feel happier, more content and at peace.
Put another way, you need to make time to practice self-kindness to start feeling happier. The key words being practice and make time.
With that said, here’s 7 ways to be nicer to yourself.
7 Ways To Feel Happier About Yourself In 60 Minutes Or Less
#1 Every morning, when you’re in the shower, find one thing you’re grateful for about your face or body. E.g. your legs that allow you to run, or your ears that let you listen to Taylor Swift, Girls Aloud or Imagine Dragons!
#2 Once a week, put yourself first without guilt. Literally, make an appointment with yourself to do something you enjoy. E.g. before cleaning first thing Saturday, take an hour to read, craft or go on a walk with your dog followed by a latte and croissant somewhere.
#3 List 5 positive things about your looks and 5 about who you are. E.g. your sparkly eyes, your healthy hair, your toned shoulders (your outer beauty), and your kindness, loyalty and work ethic (your inner beauty). Write on sticky notes, attach to your mirror, and read daily.
#4 Learn from your mistakes (we all make them!) rather than being hard on yourself for them. AND celebrate what went well too. Every day write one thing that didn’t go well and, most importantly, what you learnt from it. Then, finish with one thing that went well.
#5 Try to notice when you’re not being kind to yourself. Pause, say sorry to yourself and then give yourself a quick hug or gently stroke your arm. It seems silly, but research shows your body positively responds and instantly feels better.
#6 Stop trying to do everything. Instead, choose your top 1 to 3 priorities at work and in your personal life, and focus most of your time on those. Capture everything else on a “work admin list” and “life admin list” and do them when you can.
#7 Decide to put your health first. Because if you don’t have your health — mentally, emotionally and physically — what do you have? You know it’s essential for your happiness and enjoying life — so start with my FREE 5-Step Healthy Habits Guide today.
This isn’t a “feel-good” idea that doesn’t change anything. Kindness whether directed to ourselves or others releases the positive hormone oxytocin. Which makes you feel calmer, safer and more connected. It also reduces stress, anxiety and nerves.
On the other hand, self-criticism triggers your fight-or-flight response. This releases adrenaline causing your heart to beat faster and the hormone cortisol — which can lead to low mood due to depleting neurotransmitters that help you experience joy.
At first, self-kindness might feel strange. Or, you might struggle to give yourself permission to experience it. Remember, though, self-kindness is a skill. Like anything new, it’ll feel uncomfortable at first, and you’ll wonder if you’re doing it right. But, through repetition, it’ll feel more natural.
And, like most worthwhile things in life, developing the skill of self-kindness takes time and consistent practice.
PERSONALISED SUPPORT & ADVICE TO HELP YOU BE HAPPY & HEALTHY
Ready to take back control of your health and happiness? Spaces are now available in January 2025 for my Transformational — Personalised To You — 1:1 Coaching Program.
In just 12 weeks, this experience will transform how you look and feel for good — whether you want to eat better, exercise more, stop overwhelm and negative overthinking, or create a healthy morning or evening routine.
Since spaces are limited, this is an invite-only experience. So please join the waitlist to avoid disappointment. You’ll then be first to know when to apply for a spot.
–> Learn more here and join the waitlist now.
WANT TO DISCOVER WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE?
To help you feel better about who you are — I’ve created a FREE worksheet for you, so you can discover what makes you happy.
Get instant access by entering your name and email below.
Reading self-help articles like this can feel overwhelming, can’t it? If you’re anything like me, you think you need to do everything suggested…and end up doing nothing.
My suggestion? Choose ONE idea. And try it for two weeks.
Treat it as an experiment. Set a reminder on your phone for 2 weeks — then ask if it worked for you. Did it help you feel happier?
If it did, keep doing it. If it didn’t, choose another idea (bookmark this page so you can easily find them) and start a new 2-week experiment.
Whatever idea you choose…
Remember to be as kind to yourself, as you are to others, and you’ll start to see the changes in your life you so desperately want.
With love and kindness,
Becky x