“How can I be confident?” is a question we all ask.
So, you’re not alone if you ever feel insecure, self-conscious, or don’t like how you look.
These feelings don’t need to hold you back from being your best self though.
That’s why today’s post is so important.
I know you want to be happy, confident and like “that girl”, so keep reading to learn:
- The biggest confidence mistake we make — and what to do instead.
- How “that girl” you admire really feels.
- THE SECRET confident, happy, and successful people don’t want you to know.
- What I do when I’m feeling jealous of “that girl”.
- The surprising truth about confidence (it’s not what you think).
- 7 simple tips for unstoppable confidence.
#1 Confidence Mistake
If you wait to feel confident, you won’t get anything done.
This is the #1 mistake we’re all making when it comes to confidence. Instead of making time to practice and build confidence, we’re waiting to feel it.
The Confidence Secret
“That girl” you admire might look confident, but I promise, she doesn’t always feel it. Especially when she’s doing something new or in an unfamiliar situation.
What sets her apart, is doing things, when she isn’t confident — when she feels nervous, anxious, or even ugly (yes, we all have those “I hate what I look like” days).
This, paradoxically, gives her confidence. Because she proves to herself, she can do what she wants no matter how she feels.
I like to remind myself of this fact whenever I’m caught in a negative thought loop wishing I was as confident as someone else.
There’s a huge difference between looking confident and feeling confident.
Ultimately, what this comes down to, is looks being deceiving. You don’t know what anyone is feeling or thinking on the inside, based on what you see on the outside.
The Truth
The surprising truth most people don’t tell you is that confidence is a skill. And like any skill, it takes time and practice to develop it.
“That girl” you admire, she’s not naturally more confident than you — she’s simply spent time building the skill. She’s taken many nerve-racking actions, day after day, that have added up over time and increased her confidence.
What you’re seeing, is the total sum of everything she’s done to build her confidence over many years.
Do the same, by following the tips below.
7 Tips for Unstoppable Confidence
#1 Stop Comparing Yourself Negatively to Others
Unfollow people you negatively compare yourself to. Only follow people who make you want to be a better version of yourself — not a different person.
#2 Tell Yourself You’re a Confident Person
Our brains believe what we tell them. So, repeat positive words to yourself, to literally (as proven by science), rewire your brain. For bonus points, stand in front of a mirror, make eye contact with yourself and repeat your positive words 3 times.
#3 Go Make-Up-Free Once a Week
This reminds us our looks don’t define who we are, how people relate to us, how we add value to the world, or how our day unfolds.
#4 Put Your Phone Down
Resist going on your phone in “awkward” or uncomfortable situations. E.g. when you’re waiting in a queue. Or, somewhere you don’t know anyone.
#5 Go Solo
Go for a meal, coffee, or to an event, on your own. Or, why not have a night away by yourself?
#6 Go Outside Your Comfort Zone Daily
Smile, make eye contact and say hello to a stranger. Make conversation with the person in front of you in a queue. Ask a question or share your opinion in a meeting. Introduce yourself to someone you don’t know at a party or event.
#7 Sing In Public
You might get a few funny looks, but ultimately you’ll realise nothing bad happens. Plus, you might make yourself laugh or someone else smile :).
When I first tried these tips, I was nervous, and my heart raced. But I pushed myself to do them anyway because doing what scares you is the key to confidence.
Like most things in life, the more you take action on these tips, the easier they get. Plus, I’ve never regretted going outside my comfort zone.
Bonus Tip
Learn something new every day. Continue immersing yourself in educational books, blogs and podcasts. As you increase what you know and understand about yourself, others, and the world, you’ll feel more and more confident.
FREE CONFIDENCE TOOL
To understand more about yourself, and in turn, increase your confidence — download my 3-step guide below now to discover what’s most important to YOU.
GET 1:1 COACHING
Having someone who believes in, encourages and supports you is the key to 10x your confidence, fast. If you’d like more help increasing your confidence, self-belief and happiness — check out my personalised coaching here and join the waitlist to be first to know when a spot opens.
Your Turn
What are you going to do today to build your confidence? Let me know at becky@beckyholliday.com.
When it comes to confidence — or anything else — never overestimate others and underestimate yourself.
You can do anything you set your mind to — if you make time to practice and go outside your comfort zone.
Love and encouragement,
Becky x